While you shouldn't change your personality like a chameleon depending on who is in the room, you can present yourself appropriate to the situation you're in. Using a professional demeanor in a job interview and presenting a more relaxed version of yourself at a cocktail party doesn't mean you're fake. It means you're socially appropriate. You can still be completely authentic while also being aware of how you present yourself to others.
Telltale Signs You're Not Living Your Authentic Life | HuffPost
It's a concept that has been shared by a variety of CEOs and popular psychology professionals. There is some merit in that idea. Changing your values because your latest romantic partner believes in something different, or giving up on certain values just because it's hard to live by them, isn't authentic.
But that doesn't mean your values can't change over time. As your life circumstances change, there's a good chance your values may shift. Your year-old self will hopefully have learned a lot since the days of the college dorm. As your career takes off, your family grows, and you recognize what really matters in your life, your values may change. As long as your behavior is in line with your beliefs, you're being authentic. So as your beliefs shift, so should your priorities.
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Some people try to excuse rude behavior by saying, "I'm just being honest. Just because you don't like your co-worker's new shoes doesn't mean you have to share your opinion.
And just because you aren't a fan of your sister's new boyfriend doesn't mean you need to tell him you don't like him. But so many people say things like, "I'm not fake. What Doesn't Kill Us. To live an authentic life, it is not enough simply to try to be ourselves.
We also need to know ourselves and own ourselves. To be authentic, we need to be able to face up to the truth about ourselves, no matter how unpleasant we might find it. Authentic people are honest with themselves. They know what they think, but they are willing to change their views if new information comes their way.
Know yourself, own yourself, be yourself.
Authentic people know themselves. They are able to listen to their inner voice — their gut — and to understand the complexities of their feelings and hear their own inner wisdom. When faced with attempts to control or manipulate them, authentic people resist external pressure to go along with how others think. They will not conform to ideas, opinions, or views because others want them to, or because that is the majority view. They will weigh up evidence for and against an argument, reach their own judgment, and then hold their ground on what they think rather than compromise themselves.
Authenticity requires us to be able to overcome our desire to fit in and be part of the crowd. The authentic person is not fearless, but is willing to feel their fear to be authentic.
Think of Henry Fonda in the classic movie Twelve Angry Men , which tells the story of one juror who stands resistant against the other 11 and, over hours locked together with them in a claustrophobic room, pushes them to change their minds. Most people like to imagine that, if put in a similarly challenging situation, they too would rise to the occasion and champion justice, even if other people stood against them.
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In these ways, the authentic person owns their decisions and takes responsibility for their actions, fully knowing the consequences. They know that no one else is the boss of them; they are the boss of themselves. By taking responsibility for themselves and their choices, they are welcoming of feedback from others, curious to hear other points of view, and always open to learning about themselves, no matter how painful the revelations may be. Click here to find out more.
Ways of Living an Authentic Life
Do these people manage to get anything done? It would appear that the amount of introspection, soul-searching and self-examination is such as to preclude having the time or energy to do anything else! Well been as he is a professor at my university teaching a masters course and the author of several books it seems he does have time to do other things. I'd ask the question, how can people who are so ignorant, incompetent and full of shit get anything done?
It's a surprise we've created the civilization we have. So, in a nutshell, for me to be authentic I have to follow your rules, which, even if they were not ridiculously unrealistic, which they are, they would still be your rules, that you live by.